The rusty indentation it makes

Well, folks, I"m finally back to writing my devotionals here after a long hiatus. Glad to be back!!

It would seem to me that life is defined by a series of big events that are balanced out by day to day living.  The big events of our life can be both good and bad -- your broken arm when you were six, your first play, taking a date to the prom, your grandfather's death, your betrayal of a friend, your job promotion, etc. We might tend to think of the good events as the ones that define you. I don't quite agree.


Genesis 44:1-20
 Now Joseph gave these instructions to the steward of his house: "Fill the men's sacks with as much food as they can carry, and put each man's silver in the mouth of his sack. 2 Then put my cup, the silver one, in the mouth of the youngest one's sack, along with the silver for his grain." And he did as Joseph said. 3 As morning dawned, the men were sent on their way with their donkeys. 4 They had not gone far from the city when Joseph said to his steward, "Go after those men at once, and when you catch up with them, say to them, 'Why have you repaid good with evil? 5 Isn't this the cup my master drinks from and also uses for divination? This is a wicked thing you have done.'" 6 When he caught up with them, he repeated these words to them. 7 But they said to him, "Why does my lord say such things? Far be it from your servants to do anything like that! 8 We even brought back to you from the land of Canaan the silver we found inside the mouths of our sacks. So why would we steal silver or gold from your master's house? 9 If any of your servants is found to have it, he will die; and the rest of us will become my lord's slaves." 10 "Very well, then," he said, "let it be as you say. Whoever is found to have it will become my slave; the rest of you will be free from blame." 11 Each of them quickly lowered his sack to the ground and opened it. 12 Then the steward proceeded to search, beginning with the oldest and ending with the youngest. And the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. 13 At this, they tore their clothes. Then they all loaded their donkeys and returned to the city. 14 Joseph was still in the house when Judah and his brothers came in, and they threw themselves to the ground before him. 15 Joseph said to them, "What is this you have done? Don't you know that a man like me can find things out by divination?" 16 "What can we say to my lord?" Judah replied. "What can we say? How can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered your servants' guilt. We are now my lord's slaves — we ourselves and the one who was found to have the cup." 17 But Joseph said, "Far be it from me to do such a thing! Only the man who was found to have the cup will become my slave. The rest of you, go back to your father in peace." 18 Then Judah went up to him and said: "Please, my lord, let your servant speak a word to my lord. Do not be angry with your servant, though you are equal to Pharaoh himself. 19 My lord asked his servants, 'Do you have a father or a brother?' 20 And we answered, 'We have an aged father, and there is a young son born to him in his old age. His brother is dead, and he is the only one of his mother's sons left, and his father loves him.' 21 "Then you said to your servants, 'Bring him down to me so I can see him for myself.' 22 And we said to my lord, 'The boy cannot leave his father; if he leaves him, his father will die.' 23 But you told your servants, 'Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you will not see my face again.' 24 When we went back to your servant my father, we told him what my lord had said. 25 "Then our father said, 'Go back and buy a little more food.' 26 But we said, 'We cannot go down. Only if our youngest brother is with us will we go. We cannot see the man's face unless our youngest brother is with us.' 27 "Your servant my father said to us, 'You know that my wife bore me two sons. 28 One of them went away from me, and I said, "He has surely been torn to pieces." And I have not seen him since. 29 If you take this one from me too and harm comes to him, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in misery.' 30 "So now, if the boy is not with us when I go back to your servant my father and if my father, whose life is closely bound up with the boy's life, 31 sees that the boy isn't there, he will die. Your servants will bring the gray head of our father down to the grave in sorrow. 32 Your servant guaranteed the boy's safety to my father. I said, 'If I do not bring him back to you, I will bear the blame before you, my father, all my life!' 33 "Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord's slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. 34 How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come upon my father." 

Judah had at least three big events in his life that defined him. The first was selling his brother Joseph into slavery (Genesis 33). The second was his embarrassing chastisement by his daughter-in-law Tamar, who tricked him into impregnating her after he refused to provide another son for her after her husband died (Genesis 34). Now the third big event has come to pass. With delicious irony, Judah pleads to take the place of Benjamin when it is discovered that Benjamin appears to have stolen Joseph's golden cup.

I imagine that selling his brother into slavery would have haunted Judah. Even though Joseph was no doubt a snotty-nosed pain in the neck -- what with all his dreams and fancy robe, it still seems like overdoing it a bit to actually sell your brother into slavery, doesn't it? Of course, this was a better alternative to the original plan, which was to kill Joseph and throw him into a hole. But even so..........wow.

Judah's reaction, or rather, inaction regarding his duties to his daughter-in-law Tamar reflect on Judah's personality as well. No reason is given for why Judah doesn't provide another son for Tamar after her husband dies, which was his duty in order to preserve the family line. Even after his younger son was old enough to take a wife, Judah doesn't act. It could be that Judah just didn't like Tamar very much, but I think it could also be that he was brooding over what he had done to Joseph not too long before that.

Our sin can throttle us, it can paralyze us to the point of being unable to ever become the people we are supposed to be. Until we allow God to remove it from us, that is. But even then, the rusty impression of those chains remain -- the particular pattern of our particular sin, lay across our backs for the rest of our lives. Judah was marked by what he had done to Joseph, and even though he did not know who he was speaking to when he offered his life in place of Benjamin's, the mark of Judah's particular sin was evident.

Our redemption is true, make no mistake. Jesus completely forgives us when we come to Him. But we are marked by the pattern of our particular sin, make no mistake. And it remains all our earthly life.