Petty Honors and Acres of Shame

Our Western culture is based on the concept of legal right and wrong. This is in contrast to Eastern culture, which is based on honor and shame. It is clear that in this day of endless reality television shows, many Americans struggle to even grasp the ideas of honor and shame. We may not be prosecutable according to the law, but do we bring honor to ourselves and our families in what we do. Or will our legacy be one of shame?

Genesis 49:1-7
 Then Jacob called for his sons and said: "Gather around so I can tell you what will happen to you in days to come. 2 "Assemble and listen, sons of Jacob; listen to your father Israel. 3 "Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might, the first sign of my strength, excelling in honor, excelling in power. 4 Turbulent as the waters, you will no longer excel, for you went up onto your father's bed, onto my couch and defiled it. 5 "Simeon and Levi are brothers — their swords are weapons of violence. 6 Let me not enter their council, let me not join their assembly, for they have killed men in their anger and hamstrung oxen as they pleased. 7 Cursed be their anger, so fierce, and their fury, so cruel! I will scatter them in Jacob and disperse them in Israel. 8 "Judah, your brothers will praise you; your hand will be on the neck of your enemies; your father's sons will bow down to you. 9 You are a lion's cub, O Judah; you return from the prey, my son. Like a lion he crouches and lies down, like a lioness — who dares to rouse him? 10 The scepter will not depart from Judah, nor the ruler's staff from between his feet, until he comes to whom it belongs and the obedience of the nations is his. 11 He will tether his donkey to a vine, his colt to the choicest branch; he will wash his garments in wine, his robes in the blood of grapes. 12 His eyes will be darker than wine, his teeth whiter than milk.  13 "Zebulun will live by the seashore and become a haven for ships; his border will extend toward Sidon. 14 "Issachar is a rawboned donkey lying down between two saddlebags.  15 When he sees how good is his resting place and how pleasant is his land, he will bend his shoulder to the burden and submit to forced labor. 16 "Dan will provide justice for his people as one of the tribes of Israel. 17 Dan will be a serpent by the roadside, a viper along the path, that bites the horse's heels so that its rider tumbles backward. 18 "I look for your deliverance, O Lord. 19 "Gad will be attacked by a band of raiders, but he will attack them at their heels. 20 "Asher's food will be rich; he will provide delicacies fit for a king. 21 "Naphtali is a doe set free that bears beautiful fawns.  22 "Joseph is a fruitful vine, a fruitful vine near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall.  23 With bitterness archers attacked him; they shot at him with hostility. 24 But his bow remained steady, his strong arms stayed limber, because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel, 25 because of your father's God, who helps you, because of the Almighty, who blesses you with blessings of the heavens above, blessings of the deep that lies below, blessings of the breast and womb. 26 Your father's blessings are greater than the blessings of the ancient mountains, than the bounty of the age-old hills. Let all these rest on the head of Joseph, on the brow of the prince among his brothers. 27 "Benjamin is a ravenous wolf; in the morning he devours the prey, in the evening he divides the plunder." 28 All these are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father said to them when he blessed them, giving each the blessing appropriate to him. 29 Then he gave them these instructions: "I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite, 30 the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre in Canaan, which Abraham bought as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite, along with the field. 31 There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried, there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried, and there I buried Leah. 32 The field and the cave in it were bought from the Hittites." 33 When Jacob had finished giving instructions to his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people. 

Jacob had watched for many decades how his progeny behaved. While we might wonder (I certainly do!) at his seemingly passive oversight of his sons most of the time, Jacob reserves final judgment for the giving of his last will and testament-- which in that culture was given before someone dies. Over some of them, Jacob passes with little comment (Naphtali is a doe? Really dad? That's all you could come up with?), but with others (Reuben, Judah, and Joseph) he has much more to say. Their deeds most certainly did not go unnoticed, and now were held up to public scrutiny. This is honor and shame. Their legacy is permanent.

I will be the first to say there are many things I have done for which I am ashamed. Of honor, I doubt I have earned much. For me, I am neither the worst nor the best -- I think that is the best assessment of my life to this date. But in Jesus, I don't have to remain there. In Jesus, I am lifted out of whatever petty honor I may have earned for myself, and out of the acres and acres of sewagey shame I am mired in. He sets me in a place of honor I did not earn, and clears away the shame that I did. And in Him, I shine like the stars.

Family Patterns

There are patterns in families, just like patterns in nature. Traits and characteristics are passed on from generation to generation. Ways of dealing with life, ways of coping are modeled and repeated. We can't help it. Even when we resolve NOT to pass on a particular trait or characteristic, we still do, because we try to do the opposite, don't we? We cannot escape our family DNA.

Genesis 48:1-22
 Some time later Joseph was told, "Your father is ill." So he took his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim along with him. 2 When Jacob was told, "Your son Joseph has come to you," Israel rallied his strength and sat up on the bed. 3 Jacob said to Joseph, "God Almighty appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and there he blessed me 4 and said to me, 'I am going to make you fruitful and will increase your numbers. I will make you a community of peoples, and I will give this land as an everlasting possession to your descendants after you.' 5 "Now then, your two sons born to you in Egypt before I came to you here will be reckoned as mine; Ephraim and Manasseh will be mine, just as Reuben and Simeon are mine. 6 Any children born to you after them will be yours; in the territory they inherit they will be reckoned under the names of their brothers. 7 As I was returning from Paddan, to my sorrow Rachel died in the land of Canaan while we were still on the way, a little distance from Ephrath. So I buried her there beside the road to Ephrath" (that is, Bethlehem). 8 When Israel saw the sons of Joseph, he asked, "Who are these?" 9 "They are the sons God has given me here," Joseph said to his father. Then Israel said, "Bring them to me so I may bless them." 10 Now Israel's eyes were failing because of old age, and he could hardly see. So Joseph brought his sons close to him, and his father kissed them and embraced them. 11 Israel said to Joseph, "I never expected to see your face again, and now God has allowed me to see your children too." 12 Then Joseph removed them from Israel's knees and bowed down with his face to the ground. 13 And Joseph took both of them, Ephraim on his right toward Israel's left hand and Manasseh on his left toward Israel's right hand, and brought them close to him. 14 But Israel reached out his right hand and put it on Ephraim's head, though he was the younger, and crossing his arms, he put his left hand on Manasseh's head, even though Manasseh was the firstborn. 15 Then he blessed Joseph and said, "May the God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked, the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day, 16 the Angel who has delivered me from all harm — may he bless these boys. May they be called by my name and the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac, and may they increase greatly upon the earth." 17 When Joseph saw his father placing his right hand on Ephraim's head he was displeased; so he took hold of his father's hand to move it from Ephraim's head to Manasseh's head. 18 Joseph said to him, "No, my father, this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head." 19 But his father refused and said, "I know, my son, I know. He too will become a people, and he too will become great. Nevertheless, his younger brother will be greater than he, and his descendants will become a group of nations." 20 He blessed them that day and said, "In your name will Israel pronounce this blessing: 'May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.'" So he put Ephraim ahead of Manasseh. 21 Then Israel said to Joseph, "I am about to die, but God will be with you and take you back to the land of your fathers. 22 And to you, as one who is over your brothers, I give the ridge of land I took from the Amorites with my sword and my bow." 

Jacob is nearing the end of his life. He was born under a prophecy, "the older shall serve the younger." He grew up in a divided house, where his father Isaac preferred his brother Esau. He betrayed both of them, and spent 20 years in exile. And yet he followed the very same pattern with his own family -- preferring first Rachel over Leah, then Rachel's sons over Leah's sons. And his preference caused his sons to feud and despise each other, resulting in Joseph's exile in Egypt for 20 years. And now Joseph brings his sons to be blessed by his father, and the crafty old man switches the blessing around, so that once again, the younger receives the greater blessing. Patterns.

I think its better by far to at least know we have patterns in our families than not. Having patterns doesn't mean that we are merely locked into a certain set of behaviors. While we will always be influenced by them, we can rise above the negative ones and cultivate the positive ones. Jacob seems like a prisoner to his family patterns, but we don't have to be.

Regret is a bitter seasoning.

Regret. We look back upon a time with bitterness, pain, or embarrassment. Regret is a fervent wish that something had happened otherwise. And the longer we live, the more incidents of regret we will have. Even the most godly among us still struggle with regret, because their godliness makes them all the more aware of how it should have been. It is human to regret.

Genesis 47:1-31
Joseph went and told Pharaoh, "My father and brothers, with their flocks and herds and everything they own, have come from the land of Canaan and are now in Goshen." 2 He chose five of his brothers and presented them before Pharaoh. 3 Pharaoh asked the brothers, "What is your occupation?" "Your servants are shepherds," they replied to Pharaoh, "just as our fathers were." 4 They also said to him, "We have come to live here awhile, because the famine is severe in Canaan and your servants' flocks have no pasture. So now, please let your servants settle in Goshen." 5 Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Your father and your brothers have come to you, 6 and the land of Egypt is before you; settle your father and your brothers in the best part of the land. Let them live in Goshen. And if you know of any among them with special ability, put them in charge of my own livestock." 7 Then Joseph brought his father Jacob in and presented him before Pharaoh. After Jacob blessed Pharaoh, 8 Pharaoh asked him, "How old are you?" 9 And Jacob said to Pharaoh, "The years of my pilgrimage are a hundred and thirty. My years have been few and difficult, and they do not equal the years of the pilgrimage of my fathers." 10 Then Jacob blessed Pharaoh and went out from his presence..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................28 Jacob lived in Egypt seventeen years, and the years of his life were a hundred and forty-seven. 29 When the time drew near for Israel to die, he called for his son Joseph and said to him, "If I have found favor in your eyes, put your hand under my thigh and promise that you will show me kindness and faithfulness. Do not bury me in Egypt, 30 but when I rest with my fathers, carry me out of Egypt and bury me where they are buried." "I will do as you say," he said. 31 "Swear to me," he said. Then Joseph swore to him, and Israel worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.


Jacob had lived in such a way that he was now full of regret. As he stood before Pharaoh, an old man well beyond the years I will ever attain, he responds to Pharaoh's question of age with a less than joyful answer. He thinks back, standing there, to his early days with his twin brother Esau -- with whom he made an enemy. He thinks of how he deceived his aging and blind father to steal his brother's birthright. He considers his flight and exile and servitude to his uncle Laban, and his long labor for a family of his own. And he remembers how he found himself favoring first Rachel over Leah, then Joseph and Benjamin over his other 10 sons. He observes how that favor twisted his children until they plot to first kill then sell into slavery the favored one Joseph. He still feels the deep ache of those long years when he believed he had lost Joseph, only now recently to see him alive. His life was a festering wound of regrets.

Yes, he was reunited with his son, who rescued his family out of starvation and brought them to Egypt to eat the fat of the land, even at the expense of the Egyptians around them. But this was a foreign land, full of foreign gods, and Joseph's seemingly easy way with the Egyptians and their customs was uncomfortable to Jacob. His daughter in law's father was the Priest of On, after all! And this wasn't home. Jacob saw nothing familiar around him. Only his memories anchored him to the familiar. And those memories were seeping with regret.

Jacob, in the end, wanted to go home. He wanted his bones buried in the soil he had trod all his life. His homeland was not this foreign place of the Nile and the pyramid and these painted-up people. He yearned for hearth and home in the end.

I do too. Regret is a bitter seasoning. This world, with its painted-up people and foreign gods, is not where I belong. Here, all I have is my memory of my short sojourn. The years are few and difficult.

When I die, please see to it that I am taken to my Home. Where I can rest with my Father, and awake there. Without regret.

The Pain of God's Mercy

I struggle at times with the way God does things. If I was God, I imagine I would do things quite a bit differently. Is one of my children in danger? Move heaven and earth to protect him/her. Do my people need a break from a famine? Well, send the rain clouds down and turn that land into a rain forest.


God does not usually work this way, and it puzzles me as to why not. Instead, He usually uses people to accomplish His will, although it doesn't always mean it is very pleasant for the people He uses.


Genesis 45:1-28
Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, "Have everyone leave my presence!" So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it. 3 Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph! Is my father still living?" But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence. 4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, "Come close to me." When they had done so, he said, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! 5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. 6 For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. 7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.  8 "So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. 9 Now hurry back to my father and say to him, 'This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don't delay. 10 You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me — you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. 11 I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.' 12 "You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that it is really I who am speaking to you. 13 Tell my father about all the honor accorded me in Egypt and about everything you have seen. And bring my father down here quickly." 14 Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. 15 And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him. 16 When the news reached Pharaoh's palace that Joseph's brothers had come, Pharaoh and all his officials were pleased. 17 Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Tell your brothers, 'Do this: Load your animals and return to the land of Canaan, 18 and bring your father and your families back to me. I will give you the best of the land of Egypt and you can enjoy the fat of the land.' 19 "You are also directed to tell them, 'Do this: Take some carts from Egypt for your children and your wives, and get your father and come. 20 Never mind about your belongings, because the best of all Egypt will be yours.'" 21 So the sons of Israel did this. Joseph gave them carts, as Pharaoh had commanded, and he also gave them provisions for their journey. 22 To each of them he gave new clothing, but to Benjamin he gave three hundred shekels of silver and five sets of clothes. 23 And this is what he sent to his father: ten donkeys loaded with the best things of Egypt, and ten female donkeys loaded with grain and bread and other provisions for his journey. 24 Then he sent his brothers away, and as they were leaving he said to them, "Don't quarrel on the way!" 25 So they went up out of Egypt and came to their father Jacob in the land of Canaan. 26 They told him, "Joseph is still alive! In fact, he is ruler of all Egypt." Jacob was stunned; he did not believe them. 27 But when they told him everything Joseph had said to them, and when he saw the carts Joseph had sent to carry him back, the spirit of their father Jacob revived. 28 And Israel said, "I'm convinced! My son Joseph is still alive. I will go and see him before I die." 

Joseph is second only to Pharaoh in the land of Egypt -- a long way from the kidnapped boy sold into slavery for 20 shekels. He also spent who knows how long in a dungeon for something he did NOT do. If I were in his shoes, I would be just ever so slightly bitter by the time I was sitting on the thrown staring down at these brothers of mine. I think we do get a sense of that within him in the way Joseph has played cat and mouse with his brothers over the past couple of chapters. He may have even toyed with the idea of selling them all into slavery like they sold him, especially that Judah guy......

But Joseph doesn't go too far down that road. Instead, he sees an opportunity to finally be reunited with the father he lost so many years before. And in that desire, we see God at work to move His promised people to the only part of that world that wasn't starving to death at the time, thus preserving the family He had made so many promises to.

But God's mercy cuts like a razor sometimes. Violence, kidnapping, slavery, false accusations, years in prison, and the crushing loneliness that comes with being a stranger in a strange land -- God's merciful knife left a lot of scars across Joseph's back. His family was safe in Egypt, yes, but what about those scars, what about the haunted look in Joseph's eyes, the uneasy smile, and the ever so slight worm of bitterness stirring in his stomach?

The rusty indentation it makes

Well, folks, I"m finally back to writing my devotionals here after a long hiatus. Glad to be back!!

It would seem to me that life is defined by a series of big events that are balanced out by day to day living.  The big events of our life can be both good and bad -- your broken arm when you were six, your first play, taking a date to the prom, your grandfather's death, your betrayal of a friend, your job promotion, etc. We might tend to think of the good events as the ones that define you. I don't quite agree.


Genesis 44:1-20
 Now Joseph gave these instructions to the steward of his house: "Fill the men's sacks with as much food as they can carry, and put each man's silver in the mouth of his sack. 2 Then put my cup, the silver one, in the mouth of the youngest one's sack, along with the silver for his grain." And he did as Joseph said. 3 As morning dawned, the men were sent on their way with their donkeys. 4 They had not gone far from the city when Joseph said to his steward, "Go after those men at once, and when you catch up with them, say to them, 'Why have you repaid good with evil? 5 Isn't this the cup my master drinks from and also uses for divination? This is a wicked thing you have done.'" 6 When he caught up with them, he repeated these words to them. 7 But they said to him, "Why does my lord say such things? Far be it from your servants to do anything like that! 8 We even brought back to you from the land of Canaan the silver we found inside the mouths of our sacks. So why would we steal silver or gold from your master's house? 9 If any of your servants is found to have it, he will die; and the rest of us will become my lord's slaves." 10 "Very well, then," he said, "let it be as you say. Whoever is found to have it will become my slave; the rest of you will be free from blame." 11 Each of them quickly lowered his sack to the ground and opened it. 12 Then the steward proceeded to search, beginning with the oldest and ending with the youngest. And the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. 13 At this, they tore their clothes. Then they all loaded their donkeys and returned to the city. 14 Joseph was still in the house when Judah and his brothers came in, and they threw themselves to the ground before him. 15 Joseph said to them, "What is this you have done? Don't you know that a man like me can find things out by divination?" 16 "What can we say to my lord?" Judah replied. "What can we say? How can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered your servants' guilt. We are now my lord's slaves — we ourselves and the one who was found to have the cup." 17 But Joseph said, "Far be it from me to do such a thing! Only the man who was found to have the cup will become my slave. The rest of you, go back to your father in peace." 18 Then Judah went up to him and said: "Please, my lord, let your servant speak a word to my lord. Do not be angry with your servant, though you are equal to Pharaoh himself. 19 My lord asked his servants, 'Do you have a father or a brother?' 20 And we answered, 'We have an aged father, and there is a young son born to him in his old age. His brother is dead, and he is the only one of his mother's sons left, and his father loves him.' 21 "Then you said to your servants, 'Bring him down to me so I can see him for myself.' 22 And we said to my lord, 'The boy cannot leave his father; if he leaves him, his father will die.' 23 But you told your servants, 'Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you will not see my face again.' 24 When we went back to your servant my father, we told him what my lord had said. 25 "Then our father said, 'Go back and buy a little more food.' 26 But we said, 'We cannot go down. Only if our youngest brother is with us will we go. We cannot see the man's face unless our youngest brother is with us.' 27 "Your servant my father said to us, 'You know that my wife bore me two sons. 28 One of them went away from me, and I said, "He has surely been torn to pieces." And I have not seen him since. 29 If you take this one from me too and harm comes to him, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in misery.' 30 "So now, if the boy is not with us when I go back to your servant my father and if my father, whose life is closely bound up with the boy's life, 31 sees that the boy isn't there, he will die. Your servants will bring the gray head of our father down to the grave in sorrow. 32 Your servant guaranteed the boy's safety to my father. I said, 'If I do not bring him back to you, I will bear the blame before you, my father, all my life!' 33 "Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord's slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. 34 How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come upon my father." 

Judah had at least three big events in his life that defined him. The first was selling his brother Joseph into slavery (Genesis 33). The second was his embarrassing chastisement by his daughter-in-law Tamar, who tricked him into impregnating her after he refused to provide another son for her after her husband died (Genesis 34). Now the third big event has come to pass. With delicious irony, Judah pleads to take the place of Benjamin when it is discovered that Benjamin appears to have stolen Joseph's golden cup.

I imagine that selling his brother into slavery would have haunted Judah. Even though Joseph was no doubt a snotty-nosed pain in the neck -- what with all his dreams and fancy robe, it still seems like overdoing it a bit to actually sell your brother into slavery, doesn't it? Of course, this was a better alternative to the original plan, which was to kill Joseph and throw him into a hole. But even so..........wow.

Judah's reaction, or rather, inaction regarding his duties to his daughter-in-law Tamar reflect on Judah's personality as well. No reason is given for why Judah doesn't provide another son for Tamar after her husband dies, which was his duty in order to preserve the family line. Even after his younger son was old enough to take a wife, Judah doesn't act. It could be that Judah just didn't like Tamar very much, but I think it could also be that he was brooding over what he had done to Joseph not too long before that.

Our sin can throttle us, it can paralyze us to the point of being unable to ever become the people we are supposed to be. Until we allow God to remove it from us, that is. But even then, the rusty impression of those chains remain -- the particular pattern of our particular sin, lay across our backs for the rest of our lives. Judah was marked by what he had done to Joseph, and even though he did not know who he was speaking to when he offered his life in place of Benjamin's, the mark of Judah's particular sin was evident.

Our redemption is true, make no mistake. Jesus completely forgives us when we come to Him. But we are marked by the pattern of our particular sin, make no mistake. And it remains all our earthly life.

To be wholly just is to also be alone

Mercy is something our culture is generally unfamiliar with. In this Age Of The Individual, it is up to you to get what you deserve, both good and bad. What you have done for yourself, the story you have told through your life, the person you portray in business and at home, determines what you should receive. And that is only fair, right?


 Genesis 43:1-34
"Now the famine was still severe in the land. 2 So when they had eaten all the grain they had brought from Egypt, their father said to them, "Go back and buy us a little more food." 3 But Judah said to him, "The man warned us solemnly, 'You will not see my face again unless your brother is with you.' 4 If you will send our brother along with us, we will go down and buy food for you. 5 But if you will not send him, we will not go down, because the man said to us, 'You will not see my face again unless your brother is with you.'" 6 Israel asked, "Why did you bring this trouble on me by telling the man you had another brother?" 7 They replied, "The man questioned us closely about ourselves and our family. 'Is your father still living?' he asked us. 'Do you have another brother?' We simply answered his questions. How were we to know he would say, 'Bring your brother down here'?" 8 Then Judah said to Israel his father, "Send the boy along with me and we will go at once, so that we and you and our children may live and not die. 9 I myself will guarantee his safety; you can hold me personally responsible for him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him here before you, I will bear the blame before you all my life. 10 As it is, if we had not delayed, we could have gone and returned twice." 11 Then their father Israel said to them, "If it must be, then do this: Put some of the best products of the land in your bags and take them down to the man as a gift — a little balm and a little honey, some spices and myrrh, some pistachio nuts and almonds. 12 Take double the amount of silver with you, for you must return the silver that was put back into the mouths of your sacks. Perhaps it was a mistake. 13 Take your brother also and go back to the man at once. 14 And may God Almighty grant you mercy before the man so that he will let your other brother and Benjamin come back with you. As for me, if I am bereaved, I am bereaved." 15 So the men took the gifts and double the amount of silver, and Benjamin also. They hurried down to Egypt and presented themselves to Joseph. 16 When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the steward of his house, "Take these men to my house, slaughter an animal and prepare dinner; they are to eat with me at noon." 17 The man did as Joseph told him and took the men to Joseph's house. 18 Now the men were frightened when they were taken to his house. They thought, "We were brought here because of the silver that was put back into our sacks the first time. He wants to attack us and overpower us and seize us as slaves and take our donkeys." 19 So they went up to Joseph's steward and spoke to him at the entrance to the house. 20 "Please, sir," they said, "we came down here the first time to buy food. 21 But at the place where we stopped for the night we opened our sacks and each of us found his silver — the exact weight — in the mouth of his sack. So we have brought it back with us. 22 We have also brought additional silver with us to buy food. We don't know who put our silver in our sacks." 23 "It's all right," he said. "Don't be afraid. Your God, the God of your father, has given you treasure in your sacks; I received your silver." Then he brought Simeon out to them. 24 The steward took the men into Joseph's house, gave them water to wash their feet and provided fodder for their donkeys. 25 They prepared their gifts for Joseph's arrival at noon, because they had heard that they were to eat there. 26 When Joseph came home, they presented to him the gifts they had brought into the house, and they bowed down before him to the ground. 27 He asked them how they were, and then he said, "How is your aged father you told me about? Is he still living?" 28 They replied, "Your servant our father is still alive and well." And they bowed low to pay him honor. 29 As he looked about and saw his brother Benjamin, his own mother's son, he asked, "Is this your youngest brother, the one you told me about?" And he said, "God be gracious to you, my son." 30 Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went into his private room and wept there. 31 After he had washed his face, he came out and, controlling himself, said, "Serve the food." 32 They served him by himself, the brothers by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves, because Egyptians could not eat with Hebrews, for that is detestable to Egyptians. 33 The men had been seated before him in the order of their ages, from the firstborn to the youngest; and they looked at each other in astonishment. 34 When portions were served to them from Joseph's table, Benjamin's portion was five times as much as anyone else's. So they feasted and drank freely with him." 

But what about injustice? What about what has happened to Joseph? Now that he is in a position of incredible power, he could exact an exquisite kind of vengeance on these men -- who despised him and hated him for no fault of his own save having a big mouth. And yet, he doesn't. He plays out a game with them (initially looking like cat-and-mouse, but ultimately to bring his whole family together with him again), but rather than throw them into the very prison in which he languished for years, he is kind and merciful to them.

Why? Because having his family together again was more important to him than exacting justice.

And this is exactly what motivates God with His family as well. We, who have betrayed Him countless times, are recipients of a countless mercy. Whereas He could and in fact should destroy us for our unfaithfulness, instead He sent His own Son to die in our place. So instead of being right and also alone, like Joseph, God has chosen to lay aside His claim to justice and pour out mercy, so that He can have His family with Him again.

Now if only mercy was a better know virtue among us.......

We don't get what we deserve

I love a good detective story. I'm a big fan of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. I am like most people, I like it when the criminals get caught in their own webs. We love it when we can see injustice come back around to bite the bad guy.

Things are more difficult in the real world, though. Far too often, the tapestry of someone's life is marred and torn by some trauma that is never resolved. There is no neat capture of the bad guy, or of someone getting what they deserve. And sometimes, not getting what they deserve is a good thing.

Genesis 42:1-23
 "When Jacob learned that there was grain in Egypt, he said to his sons, "Why do you just keep looking at each other?" 2 He continued, "I have heard that there is grain in Egypt. Go down there and buy some for us, so that we may live and not die." 3 Then ten of Joseph's brothers went down to buy grain from Egypt. 4 But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph's brother, with the others, because he was afraid that harm might come to him. 5 So Israel's sons were among those who went to buy grain, for the famine was in the land of Canaan also. 6 Now Joseph was the governor of the land, the one who sold grain to all its people. So when Joseph's brothers arrived, they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. 7 As soon as Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. "Where do you come from?" he asked. "From the land of Canaan," they replied, "to buy food." 8 Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they did not recognize him. 9 Then he remembered his dreams about them and said to them, "You are spies! You have come to see where our land is unprotected." 10 "No, my lord," they answered. "Your servants have come to buy food. 11 We are all the sons of one man. Your servants are honest men, not spies." 12 "No!" he said to them. "You have come to see where our land is unprotected." 13 But they replied, "Your servants were twelve brothers, the sons of one man, who lives in the land of Canaan. The youngest is now with our father, and one is no more." 14 Joseph said to them, "It is just as I told you: You are spies! 15 And this is how you will be tested: As surely as Pharaoh lives, you will not leave this place unless your youngest brother comes here. 16 Send one of your number to get your brother; the rest of you will be kept in prison, so that your words may be tested to see if you are telling the truth. If you are not, then as surely as Pharaoh lives, you are spies!" 17 And he put them all in custody for three days. 18 On the third day, Joseph said to them, "Do this and you will live, for I fear God: 19 If you are honest men, let one of your brothers stay here in prison, while the rest of you go and take grain back for your starving households. 20 But you must bring your youngest brother to me, so that your words may be verified and that you may not die." This they proceeded to do. 21 They said to one another, "Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that's why this distress has come upon us." 22 Reuben replied, "Didn't I tell you not to sin against the boy? But you wouldn't listen! Now we must give an accounting for his blood." 23 They did not realize that Joseph could understand them, since he was using an interpreter. 24 He turned away from them and began to weep, but then turned back and spoke to them again. He had Simeon taken from them and bound before their eyes. 25 Joseph gave orders to fill their bags with grain, to put each man's silver back in his sack, and to give them provisions for their journey. After this was done for them, 26 they loaded their grain on their donkeys and left. 27 At the place where they stopped for the night one of them opened his sack to get feed for his donkey, and he saw his silver in the mouth of his sack. 28 "My silver has been returned," he said to his brothers. "Here it is in my sack."Their hearts sank and they turned to each other trembling and said, "What is this that God has done to us?" 29 When they came to their father Jacob in the land of Canaan, they told him all that had happened to them. They said, 30 "The man who is lord over the land spoke harshly to us and treated us as though we were spying on the land. 31 But we said to him, 'We are honest men; we are not spies. 32 We were twelve brothers, sons of one father. One is no more, and the youngest is now with our father in Canaan.' 33 "Then the man who is lord over the land said to us, 'This is how I will know whether you are honest men: Leave one of your brothers here with me, and take food for your starving households and go. 34 But bring your youngest brother to me so I will know that you are not spies but honest men. Then I will give your brother back to you, and you can trade in the land.'" 35 As they were emptying their sacks, there in each man's sack was his pouch of silver! When they and their father saw the money pouches, they were frightened. 36 Their father Jacob said to them, "You have deprived me of my children. Joseph is no more and Simeon is no more, and now you want to take Benjamin. Everything is against me!" 37 Then Reuben said to his father, "You may put both of my sons to death if I do not bring him back to you. Entrust him to my care, and I will bring him back." 38 But Jacob said, "My son will not go down there with you; his brother is dead and he is the only one left. If harm comes to him on the journey you are taking, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow." 

What would you have done, had you been in Joseph's shoes. Would you be thinking,  "Hey, I know I was an obnoxious kid but plotting my murder and selling me into slavery? Really?" And what about all the hardship Joseph endured in Egypt until this point? Slavery is not fun. And then to have your mistress try to seduce you and get charged with attempted rape --- and thrown into prison? This is sounding a little like the setup of The Count of Monte Cristo.

But remember what I said before, about it sometimes being a good thing we don't always get what we deserve? That's the part where I suddenly remember that I am on the hook for countless injustices (small though they may be these days). I am the bad guy in someone else's revenge fantasy.

Let's hold off on everyone getting what they deserve for just a little while longer. Please? Just a little while longer?

Foreigner (not the band)

In the past 70 years or so, American culture has included family migration in its array of characteristics. In large sections of the country, particularly in the suburban and metropolitan areas, people move around. In fact, you might say that one of the main differences between city and country folk is how many times they have moved since their birth. As one of the city folk, I myself have moved at least 18 times since my birth.

This has produced, at least in me, a feeling of rootlessness -- of being an exile without a homeland to be from. I attended three different high schools, so when my 20 year high school reunion came around a couple of years ago, I was uncertain as to which group of people I felt more closely connected. In ministry to five different churches so far, I have never really shaken the feeling of being an outsider.


Genesis 41:46-57
"Joseph was thirty years old when he entered the service of Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from Pharaoh's presence and traveled throughout Egypt. 47 During the seven years of abundance the land produced plentifully. 48 Joseph collected all the food produced in those seven years of abundance in Egypt and stored it in the cities. In each city he put the food grown in the fields surrounding it. 49 Joseph stored up huge quantities of grain, like the sand of the sea; it was so much that he stopped keeping records because it was beyond measure. 50 Before the years of famine came, two sons were born to Joseph by Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On. 51 Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, "It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household." 52 The second son he named Ephraim and said, "It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering." 53 The seven years of abundance in Egypt came to an end, 54 and the seven years of famine began, just as Joseph had said. There was famine in all the other lands, but in the whole land of Egypt there was food. 55 When all Egypt began to feel the famine, the people cried to Pharaoh for food. Then Pharaoh told all the Egyptians, "Go to Joseph and do what he tells you." 56 When the famine had spread over the whole country, Joseph opened the storehouses and sold grain to the Egyptians, for the famine was severe throughout Egypt. 57 And all the countries came to Egypt to buy grain from Joseph, because the famine was severe in all the world."

Joseph knew what it felt like to be an exile in a foreign land. In fact, all of the main characters in Genesis are exiles: Adam and Eve are exiled from the Garden, Cain is exiled after killing his brother, Noah and his family are exiled from the world as they knew it after the Flood, Abraham is exiled from Ur to go to Canaan, Jacob is exiled from his land and family after he betrays his brother. The story of Genesis is a story of strangers in a strange land.

Joseph never shook his feeling of foreigness. Even after rising to unbelievable power and influence over a vast civilization, marrying into a family of the highest social rank, and producing children, Joseph still felt like a stranger. His children's names indicate his feelings of suffering and alienation, and when he was about to die, he directed that his bones be carried back to Canaan to be buried there. 

I have to remind myself that my own feeling of being an outsider, of being a foreigner no matter where I go, is actually a reminder that I don't belong here at all. I am an ambassador of the Kingdom of Heaven. An ambassador is someone who lives in a foreign land, all the while representing the far country he or she is from.   My job is to represent the King and His Kingdom as best I can, forming  relations with this world and its inhabitants, but all the while not belonging here.

When I die, please ship my bones Home, won't you?

A lens for His illumination

I have discovered something. I have discovered that every human being has gifts that are God-given. But the problem is, most people use those God-given gifts for themselves rather than for others. And when we do that, when we use them on our own power and for our own agenda, the gifts are used but they are used at a greatly diminished level of power. And those gifts can even be twisted to actually harm or exploit others -- a terrible outcome of something originally beautiful.

For example, I have been given some gifts involving speech and persuasion. I can articulate to a certain degree, and some people find that helpful. But, on my own power and on my own agenda and priorities, those gifts can be used to manipulate, intimidate, and exploit others' weaknesses. The flesh can turn God's beauty into ugliness, and I have seen it on occasion in my own life, to my shame.

Genesis 41:1-32
"When two full years had passed, Pharaoh had a dream: He was standing by the Nile, 2 when out of the river there came up seven cows, sleek and fat, and they grazed among the reeds. 3 After them, seven other cows, ugly and gaunt, came up out of the Nile and stood beside those on the riverbank. 4 And the cows that were ugly and gaunt ate up the seven sleek, fat cows. Then Pharaoh woke up. 5 He fell asleep again and had a second dream: Seven heads of grain, healthy and good, were growing on a single stalk. 6 After them, seven other heads of grain sprouted — thin and scorched by the east wind. 7 The thin heads of grain swallowed up the seven healthy, full heads. Then Pharaoh woke up; it had been a dream. 8 In the morning his mind was troubled, so he sent for all the magicians and wise men of Egypt. Pharaoh told them his dreams, but no one could interpret them for him. 9 Then the chief cupbearer said to Pharaoh, "Today I am reminded of my shortcomings. 10 Pharaoh was once angry with his servants, and he imprisoned me and the chief baker in the house of the captain of the guard. 11 Each of us had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. 12 Now a young Hebrew was there with us, a servant of the captain of the guard. We told him our dreams, and he interpreted them for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream. 13 And things turned out exactly as he interpreted them to us: I was restored to my position, and the other man was hanged." 14 So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh. 15 Pharaoh said to Joseph, "I had a dream, and no one can interpret it. But I have heard it said of you that when you hear a dream you can interpret it." 16 "I cannot do it," Joseph replied to Pharaoh, "but God will give Pharaoh the answer he desires." 17 Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, "In my dream I was standing on the bank of the Nile, 18 when out of the river there came up seven cows, fat and sleek, and they grazed among the reeds. 19 After them, seven other cows came up — scrawny and very ugly and lean. I had never seen such ugly cows in all the land of Egypt. 20 The lean, ugly cows ate up the seven fat cows that came up first. 21 But even after they ate them, no one could tell that they had done so; they looked just as ugly as before. Then I woke up. 22 "In my dreams I also saw seven heads of grain, full and good, growing on a single stalk. 23 After them, seven other heads sprouted — withered and thin and scorched by the east wind. 24 The thin heads of grain swallowed up the seven good heads. I told this to the magicians, but none could explain it to me." 25 Then Joseph said to Pharaoh, "The dreams of Pharaoh are one and the same. God has revealed to Pharaoh what he is about to do. 26 The seven good cows are seven years, and the seven good heads of grain are seven years; it is one and the same dream. 27 The seven lean, ugly cows that came up afterward are seven years, and so are the seven worthless heads of grain scorched by the east wind: They are seven years of famine. 28 "It is just as I said to Pharaoh: God has shown Pharaoh what he is about to do. 29 Seven years of great abundance are coming throughout the land of Egypt, 30 but seven years of famine will follow them. Then all the abundance in Egypt will be forgotten, and the famine will ravage the land. 31 The abundance in the land will not be remembered, because the famine that follows it will be so severe. 32 The reason the dream was given to Pharaoh in two forms is that the matter has been firmly decided by God, and God will do it soon. 33 "And now let Pharaoh look for a discerning and wise man and put him in charge of the land of Egypt. 34 Let Pharaoh appoint commissioners over the land to take a fifth of the harvest of Egypt during the seven years of abundance. 35 They should collect all the food of these good years that are coming and store up the grain under the authority of Pharaoh, to be kept in the cities for food. 36 This food should be held in reserve for the country, to be used during the seven years of famine that will come upon Egypt, so that the country may not be ruined by the famine." 37 The plan seemed good to Pharaoh and to all his officials. 38 So Pharaoh asked them, "Can we find anyone like this man, one in whom is the spirit of God?" 39 Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. 40 You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you." 41 So Pharaoh said to Joseph, "I hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt." 42 Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph's finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck. 43 He had him ride in a chariot as his second-in-command, and men shouted before him, "Make way!" Thus he put him in charge of the whole land of Egypt. 44 Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, "I am Pharaoh, but without your word no one will lift hand or foot in all Egypt." 45 Pharaoh gave Joseph the name Zaphenath-Paneah and gave him Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On, to be his wife. And Joseph went throughout the land of Egypt." 

I am pretty sure all Joseph really wanted at this point was just to get out of jail, and perhaps to go home. But God always has more than we can imagine, if we would just get out of the way. Joseph had God-given gifts, but instead of using them to manipulate his way out of prison, in which he had been unjustly cast, he waited on God's timing, which allowed God to use Joseph's gifts in ways undreamed of by Joseph. Instead of just merely being released from prison and allowed to go home, Joseph was made second in command of Egypt and wielded immense power and influence over a land of millions. And eventually, God would bring together Joseph's family through this dramatic turn of events.

Each of us has gifts within us like a lens that, when fully used by God in his own timing,  illuminate a much larger area, and can go way beyond what we dream. The key to it all, though, is to learn to listen and wait on His timing and prompting, rather than rushing ahead to make sure our own agenda is secured. 

Now, if only I can live out my own words.......  ;)

Forgotten despite being............

There are times when I really wrestle with the meaning of it all. As a pastor, and I know I am not alone in this, I do occasionally question if I am really doing any lasting good. Sure, I provide some help for some who are looking for it, but wouldn't they have found that help somewhere else anyway? The people who really need help tend to be people who don't want help, and are therefore not looking for it, and so wouldn't get help if I was there or not. So sometimes it doesn't seem to matter a whole lot whether I am here or not. People will do what they will do, with or without me.

Wow, that is really depressing.


Genesis 40
"Some time later, the cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt offended their master, the king of Egypt. 2 Pharaoh was angry with his two officials, the chief cupbearer and the chief baker, 3 and put them in custody in the house of the captain of the guard, in the same prison where Joseph was confined. 4 The captain of the guard assigned them to Joseph, and he attended them. After they had been in custody for some time, 5 each of the two men — the cupbearer and the baker of the king of Egypt, who were being held in prison — had a dream the same night, and each dream had a meaning of its own. 6 When Joseph came to them the next morning, he saw that they were dejected. 7 So he asked Pharaoh's officials who were in custody with him in his master's house, "Why are your faces so sad today?" 8 "We both had dreams," they answered, "but there is no one to interpret them." Then Joseph said to them, "Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams." 9 So the chief cupbearer told Joseph his dream. He said to him, "In my dream I saw a vine in front of me, 10 and on the vine were three branches. As soon as it budded, it blossomed, and its clusters ripened into grapes. 11 Pharaoh's cup was in my hand, and I took the grapes, squeezed them into Pharaoh's cup and put the cup in his hand." 12 "This is what it means," Joseph said to him. "The three branches are three days. 13 Within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your position, and you will put Pharaoh's cup in his hand, just as you used to do when you were his cupbearer. 14 But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness; mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. 15 For I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon." 16 When the chief baker saw that Joseph had given a favorable interpretation, he said to Joseph, "I too had a dream: On my head were three baskets of bread.   17 In the top basket were all kinds of baked goods for Pharaoh, but the birds were eating them out of the basket on my head." 18 "This is what it means," Joseph said. "The three baskets are three days. 19 Within three days Pharaoh will lift off your head and hang you on a tree. And the birds will eat away your flesh." 20 Now the third day was Pharaoh's birthday, and he gave a feast for all his officials. He lifted up the heads of the chief cupbearer and the chief baker in the presence of his officials: 21 He restored the chief cupbearer to his position, so that he once again put the cup into Pharaoh's hand, 22 but he hanged the chief baker, just as Joseph had said to them in his interpretation. 23 The chief cupbearer, however, did not remember Joseph; he forgot him." 

Joseph was given some special gifts -- not only did he have dreams about the future that came true, he also could interpret dreams for other people. While proclaiming his dreams of supremacy to his family did not produce in them warm and fuzzy feelings and subsequently got him sold into slavery, Joseph's ability to interpret dreams does seem to help him out while he is languishing in prison. Until he is forgotten by the people he helps, that is.......

But, as Joseph will soon discover, and as I am routinely reminded, God does not forget. He does not allow His servants to slip over the brink into oblivion, or melt into the mist of obscurity, or fade in the light of brighter stars. God remembers His children, ALL of them, and He will not leave us languishing in the prison of existential despair for long.

I hope. ;)

When doing the right thing makes things worse

Sometimes, I find it incredibly hard to do the right thing. Now, don't get me wrong, in most areas of life this isn't a huge issue. But I do have areas of weakness, places in my own nature where the spiritual armor is particularly prone to weakness. I hope I am not the only in this situation.

Paul called this his "thorn in the flesh," a vivid illustration of a persistent weakness in a person that reminds them that they desperately need God's grace and mercy -- that they are not at all self-sufficient.


Genesis 39
 "Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. Potiphar, an Egyptian who was one of Pharaoh's officials, the captain of the guard, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him there. 2 The Lord was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. 3 When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, 4 Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. 5 From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the Lord was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field. 6 So he left in Joseph's care everything he had; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate. Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, 7 and after a while his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, "Come to bed with me!" 8 But he refused. "With me in charge," he told her, "my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. 9 No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" 10 And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. 11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, "Come to bed with me!" But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. 13 When she saw that he had left his cloak in her hand and had run out of the house, 14 she called her household servants. "Look," she said to them, "this Hebrew has been brought to us to make sport of us! He came in here to sleep with me, but I screamed. 15 When he heard me scream for help, he left his cloak beside me and ran out of the house." 16 She kept his cloak beside her until his master came home. 17 Then she told him this story: "That Hebrew slave you brought us came to me to make sport of me. 18 But as soon as I screamed for help, he left his cloak beside me and ran out of the house." 19 When his master heard the story his wife told him, saying, "This is how your slave treated me," he burned with anger. 20 Joseph's master took him and put him in prison, the place where the king's prisoners were confined. But while Joseph was there in the prison, 21 the Lord was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. 22 So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. 23 The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph's care, because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did." 

Joseph is still a student in God's School for Slow Learners, but he is advancing, to be sure. A slave was very often, commonly, used for sexual pleasure by his or her masters. Joseph, reacting against this, clings to his moral and ethical upbringing and flees the scene of seduction. But sometimes doing what is right makes things seemingly worse. And Joseph is unjustly thrown into prison. As a slave with no rights at all, he could have been murdered by Potiphar, who would have had no repercussions.

When we overcome areas of weakness, by allowing God to have control of the situation and, like Joseph, fleeing from the scene of seduction, it should not surprise us sometimes that it seems initially to have made things worse. There is a spiritual battle waging all around and in us at times, and the tumult of a victory can make things seem more difficult at times. But as Joseph is about to learn, when we insist on doing what is right, even when it initially doesn't seem worth it, we find out that God is working for a bigger purpose. 

But we have to hang on and wait sometimes in order to see...........

Who's in your family tree?

The history of families and what happens to them can be a fascinating subject, particularly if one or more of them are very prominent. Often, as it happens, the descendants fail to measure up to the greatness of the people who have gone before.

Genesis 38:1-26
 "At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. 2 There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and lay with her; 3 she became pregnant and gave birth to a son, who was named Er. 4 She conceived again and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. 5 She gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that she gave birth to him. 6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the Lord's sight; so the Lord put him to death. 8 Then Judah said to Onan, "Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother." 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the Lord's sight; so he put him to death also. 11 Judah then said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, "Live as a widow in your father's house until my son Shelah grows up." For he thought, "He may die too, just like his brothers." So Tamar went to live in her father's house. 12 After a long time Judah's wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had recovered from his grief, he went up to Timnah, to the men who were shearing his sheep, and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went with him. 13 When Tamar was told, "Your father-in-law is on his way to Timnah to shear his sheep," 14 she took off her widow's clothes, covered herself with a veil to disguise herself, and then sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had now grown up, she had not been given to him as his wife. 15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 Not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by the roadside and said, "Come now, let me sleep with you." "And what will you give me to sleep with you?" she asked. 17 "I'll send you a young goat from my flock," he said. "Will you give me something as a pledge until you send it?" she asked. 18 He said, "What pledge should I give you?" "Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand," she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. 19 After she left, she took off her veil and put on her widow's clothes again. 20 Meanwhile Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get his pledge back from the woman, but he did not find her. 21 He asked the men who lived there, "Where is the shrine prostitute who was beside the road at Enaim?" "There hasn't been any shrine prostitute here," they said. 22 So he went back to Judah and said, "I didn't find her. Besides, the men who lived there said, 'There hasn't been any shrine prostitute here.'" 23 Then Judah said, "Let her keep what she has, or we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did send her this young goat, but you didn't find her." 24 About three months later Judah was told, "Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a result she is now pregnant." Judah said, "Bring her out and have her burned to death!" 25 As she was being brought out, she sent a message to her father-in-law. "I am pregnant by the man who owns these," she said. And she added, "See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are." 26 Judah recognized them and said, "She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn't give her to my son Shelah." And he did not sleep with her again." 
Most of Jacob's sons seemed to be rather disappointing figures, considering they were the great grandsons of Abraham, and the sons of Jacob. But they were brought up in a rivalrous household, with a father who was clearly biased in favor of Rachel's children, and obviously were seething with resentment. Judah, after he plotted with his brothers to first murder and then just sell his little brother Joseph into slavery, appears to be someone who hasn't lived up to the greatness of his family name. He marries a Canaanite woman, which he wasn't supposed to do, and both his sons were wicked and were killed by God. 

(Incidentally, for many years the Roman Catholic Church took the passage about Onan spilling his seed on the ground as Scriptural prohibition of masturbation.)

Then Judah fails to keep his family duty of providing an heir and preserving the family line. So like other women in desperate circumstances who have no other recourse, Tamar gets the job done in her own way. And in doing so, by Judah's own admission, becomes more honorable than her father-in-law.

And to think that Jesus is directly descended from such riff-raff........... ;)

God's School for Slow Learners

From the time I was about 11 until I was about 19, I was pretty much a little jerk. For various reasons, I had convinced myself I was superior to most people and so therefore treated them as such. Because I felt I had been cheated out of my due in life, I in turn tried to get what I wanted from others by any means necessary, whether through manipulation, lying, betrayal, and a very serious case of self-centeredness. I often tell people I meet today that they are lucky not to have met me as I was before I became a disciple of Jesus. It wasn't pretty.


Genesis 37:1-36
Jacob lived in the land where his father had stayed, the land of Canaan. 2 This is the account of Jacob. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. 4 When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. 5 Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. 6 He said to them, "Listen to this dream I had: 7 We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it." 8 His brothers said to him, "Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?" And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said. 9 Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. "Listen," he said, "I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me." 10 When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, "What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?" 11 His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind. 12 Now his brothers had gone to graze their father's flocks near Shechem, 13 and Israel said to Joseph, "As you know, your brothers are grazing the flocks near Shechem. Come, I am going to send you to them." "Very well," he replied. 14 So he said to him, "Go and see if all is well with your brothers and with the flocks, and bring word back to me." Then he sent him off from the Valley of Hebron. When Joseph arrived at Shechem, 15 a man found him wandering around in the fields and asked him, "What are you looking for?" 16 He replied, "I'm looking for my brothers. Can you tell me where they are grazing their flocks?" 17 "They have moved on from here," the man answered. "I heard them say, 'Let's go to Dothan.'"So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near Dothan. 18 But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him. 19 "Here comes that dreamer!" they said to each other. 20 "Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we'll see what comes of his dreams." 21 When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. "Let's not take his life," he said. 22 "Don't shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the desert, but don't lay a hand on him." Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father. 
23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe — the richly ornamented robe he was wearing —  24 and they took him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it. 25 As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt. 26 Judah said to his brothers, "What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let's sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood." His brothers agreed. 28 So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt. 29 When Reuben returned to the cistern and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes. 30 He went back to his brothers and said, "The boy isn't there! Where can I turn now?" 31 Then they got Joseph's robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. 32 They took the ornamented robe back to their father and said, "We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son's robe." 33 He recognized it and said, "It is my son's robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces." 34 Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. 35 All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. "No," he said, "in mourning will I go down to the grave to my son." So his father wept for him. 36 Meanwhile, the Midianites sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, one of Pharaoh's officials, the captain of the guard."

Joseph was a little jerk too. Although it seemed like there were already a lot of problems brewing in the family due to the inevitable rivalry between Rachel and Leah and their children, Jacob favoring Joseph so obviously really got things boiling. And to top it all off: Joseph was a tattle-tale and didn't know when to keep his mouth closed, particularly when it came to his dreams. He even ticked his doting father off.

Sometimes, little jerks have to learn the hard way.

Joseph learned a long, hard lesson by being sold into slavery, tossed into prison, and being taken to a foreign land. I learned a long, hard lesson by being beaten up by a friend in front of my whole school after I fooled around with not one but TWO of his girlfriends, being ostracized and generally miserable my entire senior year of high school, and finding out that the world didn't owe me a favor after all. And the lessons kept on coming, and kept on coming, until today, when I find myself still attending God's School for Slow Learners...........

Perhaps I will see you in class today. ;)

See, He's right there...........

Do you know what a theophany is? A theophany is an appearance of God. Have you ever had one? No? Me neither. I sometimes wish I would have one though, don't you? There are times, usually during times of uncertainty, when a theophany would come in real' handy-like. Just to boost the ol' faith barometer, and show me that I am at least in the ballpark of being on the right track.

But alas, theophanies are by definition extremely rare. In fact, I could probably count on one hand the amount of theophanies recorded in the Bible, which spans about 3,000 years of history. So if the going rate for a manifestation of God is about 5 every 3,000 years, odds are I will probably not witness one in my lifetime.


Genesis 35:1-20
"Then God said to Jacob, "Go up to Bethel and settle there, and build an altar there to God, who appeared to you when you were fleeing from your brother Esau." 2 So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, "Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves and change your clothes. 3 Then come, let us go up to Bethel, where I will build an altar to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and who has been with me wherever I have gone." 4 So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak at Shechem. 5 Then they set out, and the terror of God fell upon the towns all around them so that no one pursued them. 6 Jacob and all the people with him came to Luz (that is, Bethel) in the land of Canaan. 7 There he built an altar, and he called the place El Bethel, because it was there that God revealed himself to him when he was fleeing from his brother. 8 Now Deborah, Rebekah's nurse, died and was buried under the oak below Bethel. So it was named Allon Bacuth.  9 After Jacob returned from Paddan Aram, God appeared to him again and blessed him. 10 God said to him, "Your name is Jacob, but you will no longer be called Jacob; your name will be Israel." So he named him Israel. 11 And God said to him, "I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body. 12 The land I gave to Abraham and Isaac I also give to you, and I will give this land to your descendants after you." 13 Then God went up from him at the place where he had talked with him. 14 Jacob set up a stone pillar at the place where God had talked with him, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it. 15 Jacob called the place where God had talked with him Bethel.  16 Then they moved on from Bethel. While they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel began to give birth and had great difficulty. 17 And as she was having great difficulty in childbirth, the midwife said to her, "Don't be afraid, for you have another son." 18 As she breathed her last — for she was dying — she named her son Ben-Oni. But his father named him Benjamin.  19 So Rachel died and was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem). 20 Over her tomb Jacob set up a pillar, and to this day that pillar marks Rachel's tomb." 

What's really fascinating here is that it seems that God was willing to work with these people even though they were still fairly pagan in their religious practices, i.e. having them throw away all their foreign gods they had been carrying about. Apparently, Rachel was still pretty much a pagan when she married Jacob -- remember when she stole her family's household gods? And now Jacob/Israel commands the whole family to get rid of them.......he didn't want anything messing up his encounter with God. His second encounter with God.

Why was Jacob the recipient of at least two theophanies, when I, who could really use one right about now, don't even get one? I guess God had to really get in there and get involved, since He was building up a new people to be a beacon of His light for the world of the gentiles. Maybe God needed to make sure there was an insistent witness to His saving actions in the world.

On the other hand, I do believe I have barely missed several theophanies of God.......out of the corner of my eye. In people's lives, in their faces, in the laughter of my God-given children, in the smiles of my church family, I glimpse the barely glowing remnant of a place God was just standing. He shows Himself to me all the time through these and other people in my path, but I can be too busy looking for a theophany instead.

A baseball bat would do very nicely, I think.....

Recently, while I was working in Roseburg, my wife was volunteering at a charity auction. The event was very classy, with a lot of pretty wealthy people there to donate money to the cause. Everything went well until the end of the auction, when my wife, who is about 5 feet 1 inch tall, was propositioned by a drunken man and his wife. He proceeded to explain to her and the entire table they were sitting at what he wanted to do with my wife, while the entire table was so drunk they laughed right along. My wife, who had only stopped by to say hello, was humiliated and very upset. She had a great deal of trouble sleeping that night, and hesitantly told me about it the next day. To make matters worse, we knew this man and his wife fairly well, in fact his parents were neighbors of ours.

Genesis 34:1-29
"Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land. 2 When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of that area, saw her, he took her and violated her. 3 His heart was drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke tenderly to her. 4 And Shechem said to his father Hamor, "Get me this girl as my wife." 5 When Jacob heard that his daughter Dinah had been defiled, his sons were in the fields with his livestock; so he kept quiet about it until they came home. 6 Then Shechem's father Hamor went out to talk with Jacob. 7 Now Jacob's sons had come in from the fields as soon as they heard what had happened. They were filled with grief and fury, because Shechem had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter — a thing that should not be done. 8 But Hamor said to them, "My son Shechem has his heart set on your daughter. Please give her to him as his wife. 9 Intermarry with us; give us your daughters and take our daughters for yourselves. 10 You can settle among us; the land is open to you. Live in it, trade in it, and acquire property in it." 11 Then Shechem said to Dinah's father and brothers, "Let me find favor in your eyes, and I will give you whatever you ask. 12 Make the price for the bride and the gift I am to bring as great as you like, and I'll pay whatever you ask me. Only give me the girl as my wife." 13 Because their sister Dinah had been defiled, Jacob's sons replied deceitfully as they spoke to Shechem and his father Hamor. 14 They said to them, "We can't do such a thing; we can't give our sister to a man who is not circumcised. That would be a disgrace to us. 15 We will give our consent to you on one condition only: that you become like us by circumcising all your males. 16 Then we will give you our daughters and take your daughters for ourselves. We'll settle among you and become one people with you. 17 But if you will not agree to be circumcised, we'll take our sister and go." 18 Their proposal seemed good to Hamor and his son Shechem. 19 The young man, who was the most honored of all his father's household, lost no time in doing what they said, because he was delighted with Jacob's daughter. 20 So Hamor and his son Shechem went to the gate of their city to speak to their fellow townsmen. 21 "These men are friendly toward us," they said. "Let them live in our land and trade in it; the land has plenty of room for them. We can marry their daughters and they can marry ours. 22 But the men will consent to live with us as one people only on the condition that our males be circumcised, as they themselves are. 23 Won't their livestock, their property and all their other animals become ours? So let us give our consent to them, and they will settle among us." 24 All the men who went out of the city gate agreed with Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male in the city was circumcised. 25 Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male. 26 They put Hamor and his son Shechem to the sword and took Dinah from Shechem's house and left. 27 The sons of Jacob came upon the dead bodies and looted the city where their sister had been defiled. 28 They seized their flocks and herds and donkeys and everything else of theirs in the city and out in the fields. 29 They carried off all their wealth and all their women and children, taking as plunder everything in the houses."

Jacob's family had been dishonored, in a culture that puts honor above everything else. Dinah was probably no older than a teenager, given there is no indication she had been married prior to this. This spoiled, wealthy, son of a pagan king thought he could take what he wanted from this family with no consequences. But he had greatly miscalculated the fury and cunning of their revenge.

But what does revenge really give you? It is true that for a while I thought pretty hard about doing something to this guy, who lived in our town and whom I saw fairly regularly. This drunken slob of a man, who thought propositioning a pastor's wife at a children's charity auction sounded like a lot of fun, deserves to have retribution enacted upon him by me for dishonoring her. It would be the manly thing to get in his face.

But I am a disciple of Jesus. The Crucified One. The One who was betrayed, spat upon, beaten, and murdered by His own people. His resurrection has saved me from the the death penalty of my great sinfulness. He did not enact retribution. He forgave them, saying, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." 

I can do no less, mindful of the countless betrayals I am guilty of when it comes to my relationship with Jesus. I, who deserves infinitely worse than this man who dishonored my wife will ever deserve, have been rescued and redeemed from a fate worse than death. Its not about me or my honor or my wife's honor. Its about acknowledging that I am forgiven, and so now must forgive. 

It's not so hip.........

Of all the people in the Bible, the person I identify with the most is Jacob. Jacob reminds me of myself is so many ways, but most powerfully because of the following passage.

Genesis 32:1-32
Jacob also went on his way, and the angels of God met him. 2 When Jacob saw them, he said, "This is the camp of God!" So he named that place Mahanaim.  3 Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He instructed them: "This is what you are to say to my master Esau: 'Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, menservants and maidservants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.'" 6 When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, "We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him." 7 In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well. 8 He thought, "If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape." 9 Then Jacob prayed, "O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O Lord, who said to me, 'Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,' 10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two groups. 11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, 'I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.'" 13 He spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15 thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. 16 He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, "Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds." 17 He instructed the one in the lead: "When my brother Esau meets you and asks, 'To whom do you belong, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?' 18 then you are to say, 'They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and he is coming behind us.'" 19 He also instructed the second, the third and all the others who followed the herds: "You are to say the same thing to Esau when you meet him. 20 And be sure to say, 'Your servant Jacob is coming behind us.'" For he thought, "I will pacify him with these gifts I am sending on ahead; later, when I see him, perhaps he will receive me." 21 So Jacob's gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp. 22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." 27 The man asked him, "What is your name?" "Jacob," he answered. 28 Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome." 29 Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared." 31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon. 

There are some people, like my wife for instance, that seem to have an easy faith. I am not one of these people. For me, faith is a constant struggle between my earthly desire to run my life myself and my clear need to let God run my life. For long periods of time, I am willing to let God run the show. But then will come a period of time when my old self will reassert its dominance on me and I will insist on taking over again. I will wrestle with God over control of how my day goes, how I am with my family, how I connect with others, what work I do, and how productive I will be. I will wrestle with God over how I will spend my free time, what my expectations are, and where my focus will be.

I always lose these wrestling matches. But then I am always reminded of one very important fact: I am not God. When I try to run my life, it doesn't go well. In all my running around on my own, the leg I am dragging behind me should remind me of the futility of me in charge.