Polygamous Rivalry

It is common today in churches across America to see blended families, or families with children from previous relationships. In most cases, the previous relational setups have been over for some time, and the current marriage is strong. Often, the family begins to attend church and grow in the Lord from an early stage of the marriage, sometimes because of the marriage. This is all well and fine, and God will bless what has been offered to Him.

However, I have seen challenges in most blended families that threaten to disrupt them. Due to the fact that at least one of the parents is not the mother or father of all the children, there can be problems with jealousy, favoritism, sibling rivalry, and even conflict between husband and wife. This can put additional strain on a family that has already been through some broken relationships in the past.

Genesis 21:1-21
“The Lord visited Sarah just as he had said he would and did for Sarah what he had promised.   2 So Sarah became pregnant and bore Abraham a son in his old age at the appointed time that God had told him. 3 Abraham named his son - whom Sarah bore to him - Isaac.   4 When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him just as God had commanded him to do.   5 (Now Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him.)  6 Sarah said, "God has made me laugh. Everyone who hears about this will laugh with me." 7 She went on to say, "Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have given birth to a son for him in his old age!" 8 The child grew and was weaned. Abraham prepared a great feast on the day that Isaac was weaned.   9 But Sarah noticed the son of Hagar the Egyptian - the son whom Hagar had borne to Abraham - mocking.   10 So she said to Abraham, "Banish that slave woman and her son, for the son of that slave woman will not be an heir along with my son Isaac!" 11 Sarah's demand displeased Abraham greatly because Ishmael was his son.   12 But God said to Abraham, "Do not be upset about the boy or your slave wife. Do all that Sarah is telling you because through Isaac your descendants will be counted.   13 But I will also make the son of the slave wife into a great nation, for he is your descendant too." 14 Early in the morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He put them on her shoulders, gave her the child, and sent her away. So she went wandering aimlessly through the wilderness of Beer Sheba. 15 When the water in the skin was gone, she shoved the child under one of the shrubs. 16 Then she went and sat down by herself across from him at quite a distance, about a bowshot away; for she thought, "I refuse to watch the child die." So she sat across from him and wept uncontrollably.  17 But God heard the boy's voice. The angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and asked her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Don't be afraid, for God has heard the boy's voice right where he is crying. 18 Get up! Help the boy up and hold him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation." 19 Then God enabled Hagar to see a well of water. She went over and filled the skin with water, and then gave the boy a drink. 20 God was with the boy as he grew. He lived in the wilderness and became an archer. 21 He lived in the wilderness of Paran. His mother found a wife for him from the land of Egypt.” 

Sarah was finally blessed with a birth child. Although technically Ishmael was her child by the fact that Hagar was her slave and Abraham was Ishmael’s father, in practice the plan Sarah had hatched to produce an heir for Abraham had blown up in her face. Now that Isaac was born, there was no need to rely on Ishmael to carry on the family lineage. Things came to a head when Ishmael began to disrespect Isaac, either by mocking him or treating Isaac as if Ishmael were equal with him instead of the son of a slave. Sarah immediately went on the offensive and demanded that Abraham expel Hagar and Ishmael from the family. This greatly upset Abraham, who loved Ishmael his son. But Abraham caved into to Sarah’s wishes and booted Hagar and Ishmael from the family.

God didn’t give up on Hagar and Ishmael, even if Abraham and Sarah did. Even though it was not God’s idea in the first place for Sarah to give Hagar to Abraham to father a child, God still honored the relationship between Him and Abraham enough that He blessed Ishmael and made him into a great nation. God has means of making things balance out.

It becomes the very definition of irony that, two generations later, Joseph (Abraham’s great grandson) is sold to an Ishmaelite caravan as a slave. God exacts exquisite justice.