Disappointment.

I’ve had my share of disappointments. I am an idealist, a dreamer who envisions what could be. Dreamers are very prone to disappointment, because so much of their focus is bent toward a future that may not occur exactly as they pictured. My wife is the opposite, she is a pragmatist. We make a good team, but sometimes it takes work to communicate well. When we debate something, I nearly always speak in generalities, patterns, and principles. My wife, on the other hand, tends to focus on a particular event, issue, or goal. She doesn’t tend to be disappointed to the degree that I experience, for which I am envious.

Mark 14:1-26
“Now the Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread were only two days away, and the chief priests and the teachers of the law were looking for some sly way to arrest Jesus and kill him. 2 "But not during the Feast," they said, "or the people may riot." 3 While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head. 4 Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, "Why this waste of perfume? 5 It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly. 6 "Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 7 The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. 8 She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. 9 I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."  10 Then Judas Iscariot, one of the Twelve, went to the chief priests to betray Jesus to them. 11 They were delighted to hear this and promised to give him money. So he watched for an opportunity to hand him over. 12 On the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, when it was customary to sacrifice the Passover lamb, Jesus' disciples asked him, "Where do you want us to go and make preparations for you to eat the Passover?" 13 So he sent two of his disciples, telling them, "Go into the city, and a man carrying a jar of water will meet you. Follow him. 14 Say to the owner of the house he enters, 'The Teacher asks: Where is my guest room, where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?' 15 He will show you a large upper room, furnished and ready. Make preparations for us there."  16 The disciples left, went into the city and found things just as Jesus had told them. So they prepared the Passover. 17 When evening came, Jesus arrived with the Twelve. 18 While they were reclining at the table eating, he said, "I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me-one who is eating with me."  19 They were saddened, and one by one they said to him, "Surely not I?" 20 "It is one of the Twelve," he replied, "one who dips bread into the bowl with me. 21 The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born."  22 While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take it; this is my body."  23 Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, and they all drank from it. 24 "This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many," he said to them. 25 "I tell you the truth, I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it anew in the kingdom of God."  26 When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.”

Jesus knew when and from where His disappointments would come. While it was Judas who would betray Him, Jesus experienced people’s abandonment and fickleness throughout his ministry, and at the end, everyone left Him all alone with his accusers. It deeply wounded Him. The Gospel of John reports in chapter six that as the crowds abandoned Him for more lively entertainment, He turned to his disciples and asked, “Are you also going to leave me?” While they protested that they would never leave Him, He already knew they would. He knew what was in the heart of the human being, and that the desire for personal freedom and comfort is very difficult to master.

The fact is, people in general are very disappointing, and will remain so as long as you look to them for your strength. But when you look to God for your calling and your guidance, He will never disappoint you. He has vowed to never leave or forsake you, regardless of how many times others do. I must confess, at times, this knowledge has been the only thing that has kept me going.